i am toxic.

Often times we are quick to try and cut off people from our lives or even call them out for being “toxic”.

For some reason, there seems to always be someone who is negative, rude, or simply holding you back. This leads us to removing these people in hopes that our life will be decluttered and everything is great until we come in contact with more “toxic” individuals. Now its time to step back and ask ourselves, “what if I’m toxic?” It is important to recognize our own faults and flaws because no one is perfect, the issue isn’t always others. Checking ourselves and acknowledging our own mistakes shows growth and awareness. A key characteristic and ability to have, that many of us don’t. I’ve realized that I too am sometimes the toxic one. I’ve realized that I have to observe myself and those around me. I’m blessed to be surrounded by so many different types of personalities and cultures. I often wonder if I someone didn’t want to be around me simply because they thought I wasn’t a good person to be around. I now try, emphasis on the keyword try to check myself and point out my own faults. Pointing a finger at yourself can be tough but it allows growth and maturity. I am not always correct and often I may say things with little knowledge and it’s okay to be made more aware. Checking yourself is all a learning process that is much needed. Other people aren’t always the issue.

write.

I tried so desperately to find a major that would guarantee me a career or a job because what I really wanted to do was looked down upon. From a young age, I knew there was something about writing that made me feel so happy. wanted to pursue it, but many told me I shouldn’t because it would be hard. I attempted to push my true passion away and force myself to major in something, anything besides writing which lead to switching my major at least five times. Absolutley nothing compared to the love of writing. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said the same thing, an author or a writer, anything that would allow me to express myself through words.