publishing my first book

In my honest opinion, self publishing my first book was a rollercoaster. A ride that I did enjoy overall, but I won’t lie as if it was all smiles. I believe the most difficult part of the whole process was self doubt. I started to believe that I couldn’t accomplish this goal even if everyone around me reassured me that I could. My anxiety became so bad, I couldn’t sleep some nights and I even had a anxiety attack. wow, this sounds bad.. but these were emotions that I needed to feel. why? Because, my goal in life is to be a full time writer, writing multiple different things. Now, if I were to let my doubt stop me from releasing my book, there is no way I could be a writer. I wouldn’t release anything. I am thankful, with the help of loved ones of course, I was able to overcome my doubt and fear and release my book. Opening up can be frightening. Allowing the world to see and feel your work is frightening. But it’s worth it.

pink soul.

Many of you know that I wrote a book, ‘Pink Soul’. However, I am sure even though it’s a poetry book, some will still wonder what the book is about. Poetry is a way of self expression for many writers and that is exactly what my book is. I was in the midst of writing a novel when I realized that I needed more time to finish it and I didn’t really want to wait longer to officially call myself a published writer. I also realized that there were moments that I haven’t spoken about that I needed to. Struggles I was dealing with in silent. I began reflecting on my life and letting it all out into my journals. I was honest with myself, for once. Pink Soul consists of three chapters. The first chapter is what I call the “sad” chapter with poems dealing with heartbreak, mental health, grief and one personal poem about sexual harassment I experienced at age sixteen. The second is a more positive uplifting chapter with poems about love and empowerment as well as poems dedicated to loved ones. Lastly, Pink Soul finishes with a collection of poems about personal awareness, understanding and growth. I am excited to share my work but if I’m being honest I am still terrified. Terrified because sharing your work with people is nerve-racking  but I am ready. I hope those of you that read my book not only enjoy it but find some pieces relatable.

– erikajeffrsn