Category Archives: Reflect

Turning 24: Changes and realizations.

Yesterday, I turned 24! Happy birthday to me!

I didn’t really put a big importance on my birthday this year, because as I get older, I don’t seem to be so enthusiastic about birthdays. However, I’m grateful to be alive because we often forget that waking up is a blessing. I started writing about things that I wanted to accomplish for my new age for the past few years, but this year instead I’m going to blog about things that I’ve learned or things that I want to change moving into the new year.

1. Everyone isn’t going to greet you on your birthday.

I definitely used to be that person who wanted all the attention on me on my birthday, like most people. Well, birthdays are your special day, so it’s okay to treat it as such. However, it’s important to remember that everyone else’s life doesn’t stop for you. During my earlier years, high school up until maybe 21, it would bother me when certain people didn’t wish me a happy birthday, especially people I considered friends. I’ve learned that the only people who you should *expect* to greet you are people you speak to on a daily basis / significant other / immediate family / close or best friends. Even they might forget too so it’s okay. Okay, but my boyfriend better not forget!! Ever. However, don’t expect someone you just know to say it. It’s just a birthday greet. Life goes on. It’s not the end of the world.

2. I am happier without social media.

Yesterday was the first time posting on Instagram in 7 months. Within that 7 months, I took quite a few social media breaks from both Instagram and twitter. I’ve said this so many times before, but I love being away from social media. There’s so much toxicity and feeling the need to compare. Whenever I log onto social media for the first time in a week or so, it’s like I lose my breath of fresh air. The negativity instantly makes me regret logging back on. Moving forward, social media will continue to be limited. It’s better for my overall mental health and well-being.

3. It’s time to let go of the past.

A few days ago, I tried online therapy for the first time. I haven’t ever been to any kind of therapy, but I wanted to try so I opted for online sessions. I will have a blog post explaining all about my experience but in short, I loved it. My therapist explained to me that I have been holding onto my past. I was made fun of in middle school, and that is why I still have insecurities today. But like my therapist said, “your bullies aren’t going to hurt you anymore, it’s time to move on.” It is. It’s been time. Everyone heals at different speeds, but I’m ready to love myself. This goes for all things I’ve been holding onto. Goodbye.

4. Spirituality/ God makes me happy.

Meditation has been a great help with my mental health. Affirmations, all things law of attraction, I love it. My goal is to find a routine and stick to it. I also need to get back into yoga classes.

I also notice that when I pray and spend time with God, I feel protected and more at peace. I want to make it a habit to keep him first.

5. It’s time to stop making the same financial mistakes.

We have to make mistakes. It’s life. However, we shouldn’t keep making the same mistakes. We need to learn from them. I know I’m still young, but I’ve finally realized that I need to place more of a important on financial literacy. I still make stupid purchases and run through my savings account then act surprised when I’m broke. Highlight of my birthday was paying off the last of an old credit card. Finally freeeeeee! This year, I want to take control of my finances so I’m able to live comfortably. Paying off debt and building up a fat savings! Yes please!

6. No more overthinking or negative self talk. ~ controlling my mind / thoughts ~

Just after celebrating my birthday, myself and my boyfriend got home and started to unwind. I could sense myself start to get antsy and overthink things that don’t need to be thought about on my birthday. The Bible scripture about not worrying about tomorrow is so relevant. Anyways, I’m done overthinking. I’m done negative self talking. We believe things we say and think about ourselves. I’m ready for nothing but positive affirmations. I am happy. I am healthy. I am attracting my goals. I am successful.

7. More self love.

I am a work in progress. But it’s time to love myself. Confidence is sexy. One trick I read with self love and body confidence is to dress for your body type. I am skinny. I’ve always been and that’s just how it is. I’ve tried to gain weight to be thicker. I need to start wearing things that really make my body look good. So I want to go through my closet and get rid of things that I don’t wear anymore and build up my closet. Who doesn’t love new clothes.

8. Traveling is a must.

I really want to get my passport and travel around the US. There’s so much beauty to see and being stuck in the same place is getting old.

9. I will focus more on my goals/ the future.

I’m so ready to attract my my wildest dreams and desires, my focuses on living an abundant life. There is nothing too big for us to achieve. We can do anything we set our minds to. I’m ready to accomplish great things this year.

10. Writing is the career that I want but…..

I love writing and there is nothing else I can see myself doing besides owning a business. However, I’ve learned that journalistic style writing isn’t for me to an extent. Journalism is all about bringing news to the public. I love writing poetry, articles of my own choice, stories and songs. I don’t care to write about breaking news. I love the freedom to write about what I want to. I wouldn’t mind music journalism though! I was offered a chance to write for a online news site. I turned it down because it wasn’t for me.

11. PATIENCE.

I need to work on my patience, I get very annoyed and impatient very quickly. I’m working on it.

12. Life is short.

Cliche, I know. But life is short. I want to work on appreciating life more and experience all that is has to offer.

13. Open mind.

I want to keep an open mind. The last few months I’ve been more open minded and it’s truly a great way to live life.

14. I am still young.

Twenty four is still young. I’ve got a lot to learn and see and even though I may feel like I’m running out of time. I’m not. I am exactly where I need to be. Everything that is for me is coming to me.

Okay, that’s all for now. I’m sure there’s more things but this is the basis of it. So happy birthday to me! Here’s to 24!

Photo Credit : https://unsplash.com/@lianamikah

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Your Job Shouldn’t Disturb Your Peace Of Mind

*Semi long post alert*

For a while, my job was disturbing my peace of mind, my mental health was taking a toll for a paycheck. However, I can easily say it was the worst and best period of my life because without experiencing this job, I might not have accomplished one of my dreams so fast. I might not have realized just how important mental health in a workplace is.

~ Story time:

I am currently working a CNA (certified nursing assistant), fresh out of school, I started working at a rehabilitation center or “nursing home”. I hated it. The workload was too much with no one willing to work as a team and I’d leave with my back feeling as if I’d been ran over by a car multiple times.

I started seeking employment elsewhere and applied to a home-care agency and was hired and immediately quit my job at the nursing home. I loved it. Having the ability to work with one patient at a time and actually build relationships with them was amazing. At this time, I still was thinking of pursing a nursing career so ultimately getting a job at the hospital was my goal. Ask and you shall receive. I had been applying to hospitals ever since I became a CNA , but finally one reached out to me. I was hired. I made the decision to quit my job to better my skills at a hospital. I hated it. Like really hated it.

It reminded me of working at a nursing home again, multiple patients, little to know help, favoritism from people higher up. My clinical supervisor (who is a supervising RN) hated me. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating but she didn’t like me and would often say rude things or make it seem as if I didn’t know what I was doing. Anyways, in addition to hoping I’d work on opposite days as her, some of the nurses I worked with on the floor didn’t care to help you. Team work! Yeah right. On top of that, We we’re constantly short, like two CNAS splitting up 30 patients short. One of my coworkers who was pregnant even mentioned how one day she was the only CNA with over 20 patients. TERRIBLE.

Long story short, working there made me miserable. I would wake up at 5am with one hour to decide if I was going to show up. I would sit in my bed and pray for a sign not to show up. I’d sometimes leave work, get to my car and cry. I’d get tears walking through the hospital because I hated it so much. I literally hated coming to work. I can’t stress this enough.

Finally, one week I had reached my final straw. I no longer wanted to allow my job to take a toll on my mental health anymore. I decided I was going to quit and go back to my home care agency.

One thing that helped me decided to quit was while walking around the hospital, most of the doctors, nurses, other nursing aides, ect, they all were smiling. I wasn’t. They were happy to be there. I wasn’t. They were happy to further their careers within the medical field and I wasn’t (I was planning my future books I’d write). This was around the time I decided to start really taking my writing dreams seriously because this was when I realized there is no way I could be a nurse. There is no way I could see myself coming to work everyday miserable. Who wants to go to work and feel depressed?

I am thankful for working there because it helped me realize what I truly wanted to do in life as well as helping me realize that no one should ever leave work HATING their job or crying.

A PAYCHECK IS NOT WORTH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH!

Yes, we all need money to pay for our bills and the extra things in life but if it gets to the point where your mental health is drowning, the job is not worth it.

There are so many people who get pushed to their breaking point because of work stress and I am so thankful I got out when I did.

I am so thankful it opened my eyes and now I’m back working in an environment I enjoy while also working on pursing my writing dreams.

Take care of your mental health!

Never allow anyone or thing to mess with your peace of mind.

I’d also like to mention, if you are working a job but deep down you know that it isn’t what you want to do for the rest of your life… follow your heart.

Don’t neglect your dreams.

Don’t put in 30,40, or however many hours towards someone else’s dreams then fail to work on your own.

You got this!

Photo Credit : https://unsplash.com/@andersjilden