*Semi long post alert*
For a while, my job was disturbing my peace of mind, my mental health was taking a toll for a paycheck. However, I can easily say it was the worst and best period of my life because without experiencing this job, I might not have accomplished one of my dreams so fast. I might not have realized just how important mental health in a workplace is.
~ Story time:
I am currently working a CNA (certified nursing assistant), fresh out of school, I started working at a rehabilitation center or “nursing home”. I hated it. The workload was too much with no one willing to work as a team and I’d leave with my back feeling as if I’d been ran over by a car multiple times.
I started seeking employment elsewhere and applied to a home-care agency and was hired and immediately quit my job at the nursing home. I loved it. Having the ability to work with one patient at a time and actually build relationships with them was amazing. At this time, I still was thinking of pursing a nursing career so ultimately getting a job at the hospital was my goal. Ask and you shall receive. I had been applying to hospitals ever since I became a CNA , but finally one reached out to me. I was hired. I made the decision to quit my job to better my skills at a hospital. I hated it. Like really hated it.
It reminded me of working at a nursing home again, multiple patients, little to know help, favoritism from people higher up. My clinical supervisor (who is a supervising RN) hated me. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating but she didn’t like me and would often say rude things or make it seem as if I didn’t know what I was doing. Anyways, in addition to hoping I’d work on opposite days as her, some of the nurses I worked with on the floor didn’t care to help you. Team work! Yeah right. On top of that, We we’re constantly short, like two CNAS splitting up 30 patients short. One of my coworkers who was pregnant even mentioned how one day she was the only CNA with over 20 patients. TERRIBLE.
Long story short, working there made me miserable. I would wake up at 5am with one hour to decide if I was going to show up. I would sit in my bed and pray for a sign not to show up. I’d sometimes leave work, get to my car and cry. I’d get tears walking through the hospital because I hated it so much. I literally hated coming to work. I can’t stress this enough.
Finally, one week I had reached my final straw. I no longer wanted to allow my job to take a toll on my mental health anymore. I decided I was going to quit and go back to my home care agency.
One thing that helped me decided to quit was while walking around the hospital, most of the doctors, nurses, other nursing aides, ect, they all were smiling. I wasn’t. They were happy to be there. I wasn’t. They were happy to further their careers within the medical field and I wasn’t (I was planning my future books I’d write). This was around the time I decided to start really taking my writing dreams seriously because this was when I realized there is no way I could be a nurse. There is no way I could see myself coming to work everyday miserable. Who wants to go to work and feel depressed?
I am thankful for working there because it helped me realize what I truly wanted to do in life as well as helping me realize that no one should ever leave work HATING their job or crying.
A PAYCHECK IS NOT WORTH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH!
Yes, we all need money to pay for our bills and the extra things in life but if it gets to the point where your mental health is drowning, the job is not worth it.
There are so many people who get pushed to their breaking point because of work stress and I am so thankful I got out when I did.
I am so thankful it opened my eyes and now I’m back working in an environment I enjoy while also working on pursing my writing dreams.
Take care of your mental health!
Never allow anyone or thing to mess with your peace of mind.
I’d also like to mention, if you are working a job but deep down you know that it isn’t what you want to do for the rest of your life… follow your heart.
Don’t neglect your dreams.
Don’t put in 30,40, or however many hours towards someone else’s dreams then fail to work on your own.
You got this!
Photo Credit : https://unsplash.com/@andersjilden